Last week was ehhhh....one of those weeks. Let's start with Monday. My Aunt Angela passed away a week ago yesterday. She was quite possibly one of the coolest people I have ever known. Her and my uncle met when he was in the Navy, in the Philippines because that is where she is from. Legit already, right? She was so much fun. She liked to wrestle when we were little, now mind you, she was little too. She stood at about 4 feet even. She was an excellent cook - "fried lice" or rather fried rice was her specialty. She may have been the first person I ever saw eat with chop sticks. She let a rough life before she met my uncle. The Philippines is not the best place to live especially in the 40's, 50's, and 60's. She had six kids, two of which were basically taken from her and she didn't get to see again until they were adults. But, with my Uncle Mike she got a new life in a new country and she was thankful and she lived a great one. That was awesome to hear him say last night at visitation, "She lived a full life." And she did. Aunt Angela was always using the latest beauty treatments, and last night Daddy, Momma, Catie, Meggin, and I were all standing in front of the coffin looking at her (the make up on the hands thing has always creeped me out. Don't put make up on my hands when I die) and I started laughing and just as soon as I did dad said she still has her eye brows. And we all burst in to laughter right there. You see, her eyebrows and eyeliner were tattooed on. Hilarious. Well, Aunt Angela is in her "rest in peace place" now. I now she's in heaven having a good laugh and maybe even making some fried lice.
In other matters, I love people and I am a pretty good listener. Well, I think I am. But, I don't know how to not make people's problems become my own. Does that make sense? I am constantly worrying about people I care about. My dad was crying on the phone last week and I was a nervous wreck the rest of the day. Not that I need to stop letting people open up to me but how do I not let there issues become like whatever it is is happening to me? Anyway, maybe I need therapy. Well, I know, most of you are saying that's a given.
I blogged earlier this month about how easy and uneventful my semester has been. Well, it has been and also I need to buckle down, because it is now piling up. A Greek paper due in a week and a half. Ethics stages that I haven't done, an Art Appreciation project next week. Oh and someone tell me to suck it up and not fail my gen ed's. I have gen eds. Note to college students everywhere don't take 2 gen eds your senior year it will make you want to strangle a freshmen.
Catie Ward is smarter than me. She made a 26 on her ACT the first time. She is cool. I am proud. Don't tell her.
This week....well, it started off with a minivacation, much needed to avoid inevitable burn out. I feel refreshed and ready to kick some senior year butt. I think I can do it. Sunday, though. Sunday. I am super excited about Sunday. Yes, because I miss my kiddos like nobodies business. But, also, I get to meet my family for the summer. Team reveal y'all. Pumped. Stoked. And all those other cool words I am too lame to come up with.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Tonight I Had Fun with An Old Friend
"Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold."
This is so true. I got a chance to each lunch and go to a movie with Miss Maggie Pate today. Maggie and I have been good friends since the eighth grade and when I say good friends I mean best. She really gets me, I really get her. What I love about our friendship is that there is no false motive, nothing to prove, no judgement. We are who we are. We talk about what we want to be and how we want to change, but we love each other despite our crappy stuff.
We have taken very different paths in life and I really think that is just fine. However long it has been we just pick up and take off like old times. I love it. But, that should say a lot about friendship. Maggie is a high school friend. I have changed so much since then. I am not near the same person I once was. And neither is she. But, we still are friends. We still care about each other despite the change.
I have made friends in college. The best kind. I have changed since they got to know me. I will change. They will change. But, you know what I have full confidence that in ten years I will still be able to call Jon Pucik on the phone and ask him to give me advice (if I can get him to answer), I might just occasionally watch old episodes of Boy Meets World with Patrick Galucki, I am going to need a good hug from Samuel Pucik in regular intervals, and I am sure Stephanie, Hannah, and I will keep up with Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice together as well. You know why I know that? Because people change, locations change, dynamics change, friendships change. The love and the God that put them there to begin with doesn't.
So, I will go to camp this summer and meet new friends, I will go to Truett and meet life long confidants (and Lord willing, a significant other). I will, I know it. But, I will have a whole slew of friends back home, that I love and cherish and will still care for with all my heart. Friends has a funny way of morphing into the word family. I have my friend Maggie Jo to thank for that realization.
This is so true. I got a chance to each lunch and go to a movie with Miss Maggie Pate today. Maggie and I have been good friends since the eighth grade and when I say good friends I mean best. She really gets me, I really get her. What I love about our friendship is that there is no false motive, nothing to prove, no judgement. We are who we are. We talk about what we want to be and how we want to change, but we love each other despite our crappy stuff.
We have taken very different paths in life and I really think that is just fine. However long it has been we just pick up and take off like old times. I love it. But, that should say a lot about friendship. Maggie is a high school friend. I have changed so much since then. I am not near the same person I once was. And neither is she. But, we still are friends. We still care about each other despite the change.
I have made friends in college. The best kind. I have changed since they got to know me. I will change. They will change. But, you know what I have full confidence that in ten years I will still be able to call Jon Pucik on the phone and ask him to give me advice (if I can get him to answer), I might just occasionally watch old episodes of Boy Meets World with Patrick Galucki, I am going to need a good hug from Samuel Pucik in regular intervals, and I am sure Stephanie, Hannah, and I will keep up with Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice together as well. You know why I know that? Because people change, locations change, dynamics change, friendships change. The love and the God that put them there to begin with doesn't.
So, I will go to camp this summer and meet new friends, I will go to Truett and meet life long confidants (and Lord willing, a significant other). I will, I know it. But, I will have a whole slew of friends back home, that I love and cherish and will still care for with all my heart. Friends has a funny way of morphing into the word family. I have my friend Maggie Jo to thank for that realization.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Today I am not Content
Listen y'all, I am not a content person. I'm not. I always want to be somewhere else doing the next best thing for me. I guess it is probably because I grew up in a culture that is always pushing to see what you are going to do after high school, what college you are going to, when are you getting married, what are you doing after college, etc. etc. I sit here in my office at FBC thinking, I have a ton of stuff I could be doing, but I just want to be at camp. Sitting in class this morning, all I could think was, I just want to go back to bed and take a nap. But isn't there something to be said about the fact that we need to be in the moment, we need to be content where we are. There are things left to be done here at FBC. There are things still to be done at Williams. There are things to be done this summer and next year too, but they are not here yet. If I am so excited about them why I am not preparing spiritually for them. Why?
On another note, the getting in to seminary high from last week has most def worn off. I got a very happy email from the camp office telling us March 4th is the day we find out what team we are going to be serving on this summer....PUMPED. And yet, I digress and prove my point all the more. This weekend, I have a DNOW. I am not a big fan of teenagers, but shouldn't I be excited about investing in them? Tomorrow I can to perform in a children's play - shouldn't I be happy to be on stage? I need some serious accountability to be happy just were I am (in a this is where I am suppose to be sort of thing).
I don't have anything else insightful to say. I don't have a poem or a song (I am not cool like my friend Jon), I don't have a funny kid to write about (y'all should really check out the big momma blog), and I don't lead a church of millions of members or work at LifeWay. But, I tried.
On another note, the getting in to seminary high from last week has most def worn off. I got a very happy email from the camp office telling us March 4th is the day we find out what team we are going to be serving on this summer....PUMPED. And yet, I digress and prove my point all the more. This weekend, I have a DNOW. I am not a big fan of teenagers, but shouldn't I be excited about investing in them? Tomorrow I can to perform in a children's play - shouldn't I be happy to be on stage? I need some serious accountability to be happy just were I am (in a this is where I am suppose to be sort of thing).
I don't have anything else insightful to say. I don't have a poem or a song (I am not cool like my friend Jon), I don't have a funny kid to write about (y'all should really check out the big momma blog), and I don't lead a church of millions of members or work at LifeWay. But, I tried.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Yesterday I got into Seminary
It happened. I was beginning to wonder if I was ever going to get a letter declaring whether I got into grad school or not. Yesterday my questions were answered and I will be attending George W. Truett Theological Seminary with a full tuition paid scholarship. My first thought was elation. I was so excited. I called my mom, my dad, I ran to the "Holy Hallway" to tell my professors. I was in awe. My next feeling was how much I don't deserve this. As I read the letter it told me how I was in a select company of people that will be receiving this award, etc etc. How my academic record was good, etc. etc. I struggle though because I am a horrible person. We all are to some extent. I am a dirty, rotten sinner with a lot of ugly in my life that for the most part I keep hidden inside of me. I lust after things of the flesh, I neglect spending time in devotion with the creator of the universe, and I procrastinate on preparing to teach the Word time after time. It hinges on the ridiculous in fact. But, I was reminded yesterday that God is faithful and he has grace abounding. He still trusts me and redeems me even though I fail him continually time after time. He still loves me and provides amazing opportunities in my life after I screw up over and over again.
That being said, I would like to take some time to thank a couple of people who this scholarship could not have been possible without.
Momma and Daddy - I am what I am because of you. The good I do and strive to do is because of the example you have always set for me. I work hard, because you work hard. I love Christ, because you have showed me the love of Christ. I teach children and disciple them because you have taught me how to love children and disciple them. I know we disagree, we argue, and we say things neither one of us mean, but I love you guys and even though I may be going even further away I will carrying on what you taught me. You will always be there with me and I will always be there with you.
Billy Don - You have been the brother I have always wanted and prayed for. You follow fast after the heart of God even through difficult circumstances. You have been through so much physically and emotionally the last couple of years and I have never seen you loose your faith. You are an awesome dad, husband, and brother and I am proud to call you just that my brother.
Meggin and Catie - Meg, thanks for dressing me for the first twelve years of my life. Thank you for being a good big sister despite my hormonal teenage outbursts and smart aleck remarks. Catie, thanks for being a good example to me even as your big brother. For being a faithful friend, loving others, and sticking to what you know is right.
Drs. Gore, Foster, and Norvell - I can't even express the debt I owe you. Your passion for Christ and his kingdom is tangible every time you step in front of a class to teach. I have learned so much through your leadership and teaching and I know I prepared because of the excellent education I have received at your hands.
Sam and Josh - thanks for being mentors for me through my early college days. Thank you for instilling a drive in me to work hard and push myself to my best. I can point to so many things I have done the past couple of years and know the only reason I did them is because of your encouragement.
Jon, Sam, Pat, and Dan - You are five start friends. I love you guys and the example you set for me. I know we don't get to see each other as much as we used to, but I still pray for you guys and I love you more than I can express. You challenge me, you inspire me, you encourage me, you humble me, you love me, and you give me a swift kick to the face when I need you to. We are really more than just friends, you are my brothers.
First Baptist Church - That is a lump of so many individuals who have been patient with me the past year, who have cooked meals for me, let me stay at their house, hang out with their kids, and simply to get paid for doing what I love to do most in life. It is with a heavy heart I move on to the next stage in my life, but I will continue to pray for you each day.
God has taught me patience through this whole process and faith in him often requires we wait on his timeline. He is God and he can do anything he wants to do. Here's to the next three months and living life for him here while I still can.
That's all there is, there isn't any more.
That being said, I would like to take some time to thank a couple of people who this scholarship could not have been possible without.
Momma and Daddy - I am what I am because of you. The good I do and strive to do is because of the example you have always set for me. I work hard, because you work hard. I love Christ, because you have showed me the love of Christ. I teach children and disciple them because you have taught me how to love children and disciple them. I know we disagree, we argue, and we say things neither one of us mean, but I love you guys and even though I may be going even further away I will carrying on what you taught me. You will always be there with me and I will always be there with you.
Billy Don - You have been the brother I have always wanted and prayed for. You follow fast after the heart of God even through difficult circumstances. You have been through so much physically and emotionally the last couple of years and I have never seen you loose your faith. You are an awesome dad, husband, and brother and I am proud to call you just that my brother.
Meggin and Catie - Meg, thanks for dressing me for the first twelve years of my life. Thank you for being a good big sister despite my hormonal teenage outbursts and smart aleck remarks. Catie, thanks for being a good example to me even as your big brother. For being a faithful friend, loving others, and sticking to what you know is right.
Drs. Gore, Foster, and Norvell - I can't even express the debt I owe you. Your passion for Christ and his kingdom is tangible every time you step in front of a class to teach. I have learned so much through your leadership and teaching and I know I prepared because of the excellent education I have received at your hands.
Sam and Josh - thanks for being mentors for me through my early college days. Thank you for instilling a drive in me to work hard and push myself to my best. I can point to so many things I have done the past couple of years and know the only reason I did them is because of your encouragement.
Jon, Sam, Pat, and Dan - You are five start friends. I love you guys and the example you set for me. I know we don't get to see each other as much as we used to, but I still pray for you guys and I love you more than I can express. You challenge me, you inspire me, you encourage me, you humble me, you love me, and you give me a swift kick to the face when I need you to. We are really more than just friends, you are my brothers.
First Baptist Church - That is a lump of so many individuals who have been patient with me the past year, who have cooked meals for me, let me stay at their house, hang out with their kids, and simply to get paid for doing what I love to do most in life. It is with a heavy heart I move on to the next stage in my life, but I will continue to pray for you each day.
God has taught me patience through this whole process and faith in him often requires we wait on his timeline. He is God and he can do anything he wants to do. Here's to the next three months and living life for him here while I still can.
That's all there is, there isn't any more.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Today I am 22
General observances about my day:
- I miss my mommy on my birthday. I haven't seen my family on my birthday in four years. I was 18 the last time I did. Weird.
- Facebook makes me feel loved and creeps me out or makes me feel bad because there were people that wrote on my wall today that I don't think I even knew. The top posts go to my momma, Casey Turner (Charlie Brown), Laura Pucik's picture of a birthday hedge hog, and Rita calling me her "sweet baby boy" even at 22. I am loved, very undeservedly. But still loved.
- If I can't see my own family on my birthday, the next best thing was lunch with a good showing of the Pucik clan. Legit people, no lie.
- Can I say I love camp? How does this have anything to do with my birthday? Well, getting happy birthdays from these wonderful people just reminds me of the relationships I made there and gets me sooo pumped to get my Game On this summer!
- FBC Walnut Ridge is wonderful. I am going to miss these people. I can't say anymore than that or I might cry.
- It is weird that I have no idea where I will be this time next year. Not for sure anyway. I can only wonder how I will change and grow. I am actually beyond excited about the whole thing. I really am. Not scared pumped to do whatever and go where ever God leads.
- Lastly, the best birthday experience was talking to my Nana. We found out a little while back that she has lung cancer. My Nana is not old. Well, she is in her seventies but I have never ever thought of her as being an old lady. She is a hard worker and she cooks constantly. She love Dillards and gets her hair cut by some man that charges an arm and a leg in Little Rock. It was a weird experience for me to take in. But, I miss her and haven't talked to her since I found out until today. She is losing her hair, but is armed with wigs, hats, scarves, and apparently a dew rag. Get it Nana, get it.
- I miss my mommy on my birthday. I haven't seen my family on my birthday in four years. I was 18 the last time I did. Weird.
- Facebook makes me feel loved and creeps me out or makes me feel bad because there were people that wrote on my wall today that I don't think I even knew. The top posts go to my momma, Casey Turner (Charlie Brown), Laura Pucik's picture of a birthday hedge hog, and Rita calling me her "sweet baby boy" even at 22. I am loved, very undeservedly. But still loved.
- If I can't see my own family on my birthday, the next best thing was lunch with a good showing of the Pucik clan. Legit people, no lie.
- Can I say I love camp? How does this have anything to do with my birthday? Well, getting happy birthdays from these wonderful people just reminds me of the relationships I made there and gets me sooo pumped to get my Game On this summer!
- FBC Walnut Ridge is wonderful. I am going to miss these people. I can't say anymore than that or I might cry.
- It is weird that I have no idea where I will be this time next year. Not for sure anyway. I can only wonder how I will change and grow. I am actually beyond excited about the whole thing. I really am. Not scared pumped to do whatever and go where ever God leads.
- Lastly, the best birthday experience was talking to my Nana. We found out a little while back that she has lung cancer. My Nana is not old. Well, she is in her seventies but I have never ever thought of her as being an old lady. She is a hard worker and she cooks constantly. She love Dillards and gets her hair cut by some man that charges an arm and a leg in Little Rock. It was a weird experience for me to take in. But, I miss her and haven't talked to her since I found out until today. She is losing her hair, but is armed with wigs, hats, scarves, and apparently a dew rag. Get it Nana, get it.
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