We all know the roll call at the beginning of class. The teacher says, "If you are here say here." There is always that one kid that says, "Present!" Gosh, he was cool. But, I digress from the beginning. I have been thinking a lot about being present. Someone wise (I am too lazy to google it) said, "wherever you are be all there." And the truth is for the last months of my life I have not been all there where I am.
I read a post the last week of camp written by a very wise woman. This lady works(ed) in the CentriKid office at LifeWay and she was writing a post on how to deal with the post camp slump and she said wherever you are do not let your life be wasted. Don't, do not live just for camp. Then, I mean that sums up to don't just live for the next. Don't just live for graduation or the wedding or the ring. Live where you are right now and be all there. And I remember preaching that to my team the last week and using those words the last day of camp and yet I am having extreme trouble having enough faith to practice what I preach.
I had a visit from two wonderful friends this weekend. It was great. We had a lot of fun. As I sat talking to Jon the first night having what is probably the 1000th chat we've had at our "sleep overs" I thought how much things have changed. We are still close, however we are not the same people. I have been pining to live my Williams life too. To go back to where I love. What I call the happiest place on earth. And I realized this weekend my Williams isn't there. It doesn't exist anymore. Because my people aren't there and if they are they aren't what they were. It has changed.
This weekend I also got to skype with some of my favorite camp friends. I cried, there were awkward comments about me wanting to touch them, you know I miss the crap out of those guys. But, that night as I fell asleep I thought about how much God is doing in each of our lives separately. New things. He is stretching us. And yet, we can still join in Christian community and share those experiences together. That's what I call church, y'all.
I am a slow go at making friends here in Waco. It is a long process that is taking forever. I do know God has me here for some reason. He's God and he can use me anywhere if I am willing to be used. Stop thinking about next. Stop thinking about how dang long this grad school thing is going to take and start being present. Not just in body like all those kids that said here, but be that kid who said present, and maybe actually be present and be all there.
Because there are people to meet and people to grow with. There may be no Sam to listen to while he plays guitar. There may be no house that feels as much like home as Steph and Rob's. There may be no cuter kids than Eli and Hannah. I may never have a pastor like Mark Harris. I certainly will not find someone that makes me laugh as much as Caleb McDonald or is as precious as Alli Sewell, or as good at stuff as Ellie Doom. But, God does have new friends. God does have community. Faith is accepting it and watching it take flight. But waiting while it does, waiting as an active participant in God's mission. That's the hard part. But I gotta do it.
