Don't Suck

Oh CentriKid, how you continue to change my life. One thing we learned at camp this summer is the concept of excellence. The point of the concept is to do everything with the goal of doing the best way it can be done. In other words, providing the best possible outcome. I began to think this afternoon if I lived my life in an excellent manner? The answer of course was NO! God visibly shows me things to let me know the path I am headed down is the wrong path and yet I dismiss them and move on. You could almost formulate a pattern for my sin or failures and calculate what time during the week or month or whatever that I am going to mess up. I feel so stupid and idiotic. And I guess that is exactly what I am. Don't get me wrong, I am not beating myself up over it or depressed I am just tired of being an idiot. 2 Timothy 4:2 says, "Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season correct, rebuke, and encourage with great patience and careful instruction." I am a good encourager. Even in encouraging myself. However, I miss the rebuke and correct one over and over again. Even when talking with friends when I do try to rebuke or correct I either a. feel like a hypocrite or b. do it out of selfishness trying to make them feel guilty for something after they have just made me feel guilty. But, in order to pursue excellence in my life I have to correct myself and allow others to correct me. As we said at camp, "eval that." Eval-ing yourself I am afraid is easier said than done.
The picture above is the band I worked with this summer and my acting partner, Aubrey. We said every morning, "don't suck." To remind us of who we are doing this for. That we need to pursue excellence because the most excellent one is who we are doing it for. That is not just for camp, Will, that is for life. So here's to trying my best to not suck in life as well.

Finding Fault

I am a very proud person that doesn't like to be wrong.  Lately I have been realizing more and more what my faults are and thinking about how I need to fix them. So here's to a little time of confession to the blogging world:

1. I am too anxious.  I worry way too much.  The littlest things can literally drive me crazy. I not only worry about myself but others and let their worries be transferred to mine too easily.  I guess you could say I am too empathic, which can certainly be a bad thing.

2. I try to find joy and fulfillment in anything but God.  I am constantly looking for or have something that I use to make me happy rather than finding that happiness in God.  It can be friendships, dating, working, so many things.  I really struggle with realizing God is all I need.  I know that is the truth but so often I don't take hold of that truth.

3. I am too sensitive. I let things that people say bother me entirely too much.  I guess I shouldn't and sometimes people do say hurtful things, but in the grand scheme of things a lot of people (especially my friends) aren't trying to be hurtful.  I guess in all honesty this might be a problem with forgiveness and holding on to grudges.

4. I say hurtful things. To the opposite effect of the fault above I don't take responsibility for the words I say.  I don't take time to think about what I am about to say and how it will effect the person I say it to. I can be a jerk and not even realize it until thirty minutes later. But that doesn't make me any less of a jerk.

5. Pride. I am very prideful. I don't like to be wrong. I am learning lately though that I am more and more and it has been a humbling experience.

6. I am not a good friend. Don't get me wrong. I think I have aspects and qualities that make me a good friend.  I listen well, I care a lot about my friends, and I am genuinely concerned about them, but I so often get caught up in how they can help me that I loose sight of what I bring to the friendship.

Don't worry (to maybe the two people if I am lucky who will read this) I am not depressed or in a state of self pity I just needed to get some things off my chest in a logical and methodical way. It has helped I already feel better.

Being a Child of God

It is amazing how teaching kids can teach you so many things in the process.  I am still grappling with the concept of being God's child and being adopted by him.  The concept to me is just so cool.  I wanted to just share some cool ways I have found this metaphor in scripture so aptly fits.

1. Adoption is permanent.  It cannot be undone.  You never hear of someone being unadopted.  God isn't going to send us back because we don't fit in, because we mess up, or because we are just plain dumb.  We are his forever, no questions asked.

2. Adoption is a choice.  No one is forced to adopt.  It is something that one does out of love and compassion for the child.  The orphan and neglected are without parents.  Every human is born like that with a need to be adopted into an eternal family.  I didn't say we always deserve to be picked, but that is the beauty of it.

3. Child isn't always a term defined by age.  It has been a mounting frustration of mine to be stuck in an awkward early twenties stage of life.  My parents know I am not quite fully grown up yet, but I am at the same time.  No matter how old I am they are still going to tell me not eat too much, or that I need to clean out my closet.  No matter how old I am their child.  I am still there son.  I need correction.  Even when I don't want it.

4. A child needs to be disciplined.  When you do define a child as a young person one will find they need to be disciplined.  Children need to know that when they mess up they will be punished.  God is going to do the same.  Hannah (my very soon to be adopted niece) is two.  She will do things she knows she isn't suppose to do look right at Meggin (my sister) while she's doing it to see if she's watching.  She does it over and over again and she knows she will get into trouble.  That is what we all do. I like so many others constantly have to be disciplined by God for committing the same sins and mistakes over and over again. Hence how I am like a child.

My identity and who I am should be completely tied up in that  I am a child of God.  He is my father.  Too many times I forget and don't completely put my trust in that.