In Texas, you can wear your Chacos in December. It is perfectly acceptable, mostly because it is hot. You see what I did there? Instead of complaining that it is December and it isn't cold, thus it doesn't feel like Christmas I found the positive. This time.
I don't usually do that, honestly. I have been finding things lately that I absolutely abhor about my station in life. I am never going to graduate from grad school, I miss my friends, I want to fast forward in life to the amazing summer I know I'm going to have. In the midst of it all I am not grateful, not at all. I recently read Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts everyone go read it, now. It is different. She writes in a way that I haven't seen before, but it is beautiful and honest and revolutionary. In the midst of reading Ann's book, I am amazed at how ungrateful I truly am.
I was on top of a ladder the other night at work, sifting through lay-a-ways trying to find the illusive bag I needed, sweat dripping from my forehead and then my scanner died. On top of a ladder. Didn't know where else to look for this order...anger abounded. It is amazing how amidst the anger and especially in a time when you haven't really been listening to God all that well, he shows up. He said, Will you have a job. You see months earlier I complained to him every day because I didn't. Now I do. Though it may not be a hug career aspiration, I like the people I work with. People may get angry over stupid things, but I get to (or should) show them Jesus.
So, here's to being grateful. Ann says that thankfulness proceeds the miracle, that gratitude is a prerequisite for faith. I haven't had a lot of either of those things lately. I have just been running on fumes, not taking time to let God show up and help me out. My friend helped remind me of that yesterday, read that here. I haven't been grateful and faith has been missing out because of it. Without faith, there is certainly a lack of obedience. Which is required to walk with God.
This place in my life is not fun. It may get there. But, it also isn't horrible. I'm not suffering. God is providing. He will see me through and if something else is supposed to happen, he'll show me that too. Just gotta be thankful and walk with him. Every day. Obey, that's it.
I should go study for finals and be productive.
But first...
I'm going to go put my Chacos on and get some lunch.
