Let Me Be Man

#Thatawkwardmomentwhen your Dean of Students tells you to be a man in front of an entire class of people.  Those were good times.  Let me set the stage for you.  At the lovely, Williams Baptist College we had to take a class as Freshmen called Higher Learning.  In Mrs. Watson's Higher Learning class I was playing a game in front of the room.  I had to pick a category to win the game and I was indecisive.  What does Susan (sorry Mrs. Watson, I love this lady) say to me, "Be a man, Will, make a decision."  If you are an alum or knew me at WBC this is hilarious to you because you know me.  I don't often get embarrassed.  Everyone knew me at WBC, it wasn't a big deal.  It wasn't a big deal to the Will you know and love now, but freshman Will?  He was not too confident in a new place, the only new place he'd ever been in.  I could have crawled under the table and died.

Another story, you CK friends know what a Ryder is and every time you see one traveling down the road you have the urge to start a caravan.  Yep, Ryders are beautiful creations of a loving God.  Kind of.  When the beautiful Mary Chase Breedlove sent me an email to get my physical to drive a Ryder last summer I could have died.  Really, I could have.  But I did it and I drove it.  And there are stories of stomach problems and break downs that go along with it.  But, that's not the point.  One long trip (weren't they all long CK7?)  I was driving the Ryder and we were having hilarious walky chat.  I exclaim over the walky to my team, "Guys, I feel like a man driving this thing."  My good buddy and pastor Daniel says to me, "Will, maybe that's because you are a man."

That hit me like a ton of bricks.  The truth is obvious.  But, the deeper truth rang in my ear.  You see, I am a man.  But, I don't always feel like I live up to the social stereotype our society has set for us.  I don't hunt, go muddin', or like to lift weights.  I do like sports but I also have a Pinterest (I pin things for children's ministry so shut it).  I struggled for a long time in my life feeling like I wasn't man enough for everyone around me.  The Will of 2008 (back in Higher Learning) maybe had 2 good male friends and one of them was married to my sister.  The Will of 2012 can name off a whole bunch of guys that I have built community with and broken bread with and now call brothers in Christ that have through action and deed taught me I am a real man.  I want the things God has created men to want.  You were right Daniel, I am a man.  Thanks, brother.

We all know those awesome women's speakers out there or authors.  There is Beth Moore (who I often refer to on a first name basis as Beth), Elisabeth Elliot, Jen Hatmaker, Ann Voskamp, Priscilla Shier, just to name a few.  The question I kind of want to beg is, "Where are all the men?"  In boredom I often read blogs and it isn't often I find one about a man just sharing life with fellow believers.  It is all women.  Sharing life, sharing advice, getting real.  I am not saying there aren't books pertaining to men out there.  There are.  There are some good ones too (I am reading Wild at Heart right now and it is fantastic), but you see that's not the point of this post.  Not really.  And there are men that write books and speak (duh).  Matt Chandler, David Platt, Francis Chan, oh I can name hundreds of more....but again not my point.  You see those women I mentioned up there what they write isn't so much a call for some prescribed set of values for women.  No, ya'll they preach the Word of God (I go to a CBF seminary its ok for me to use women and preach in the same sentence).  That isn't the point either.  The point is Beth for example preaches the Word and builds community for women around that Word.  Its deep.  It isn't face value - it is intense, life-giving and it is the breathe of God.

You see men need to study the Bible together more.  They need to build community.  The men's conferences are all about how to be a good husband, how to be a good Father, etc.  What if men just studied the Word together wouldn't that show us all those things?  What if there were men's Bible studies at church studying something like Beth Moore (or even Beth y'all I told you she brings the Word).  You see, there isn't that for men.  There is just here is the Word study it on your own time and listen to it preached, but don't get deeper.  And there in lies the problem.  Men need to dive into and devour the Bible in community.  That's what those ladies above do.  I am reading (I read a lot of books at the same time don't judge I am in grad school) Jen Hatmaker's 7, a book about giving up excess in life.  Jen is a fantastic women's speaker, but she didn't just write this book for women.  It is truth for all Christians it isn't just women that should limit excess in their lives its all Christians.  What I'm saying is I hope you've gotten it, men study the word together (that's an imperative sentence).

There is a story in Jen's book about a conference she led in Oklahoma.  She was speaking on giving up  things and giving to the poor.  What do the women do as a response?  They begin to come leave offerings at the altar to take to these poor and homeless women Jen speaks of.  These were good church ladies dressed in their best.  They left purses, iPhones (not my iPhone I can't handle it), coats.  Thousands of dollars worth of stuff.  They responded not to a call to be good wives, mothers and friends.  They responded to a call to be good Christians...as women. Together. In community (and I wonder what their husbands said when they got home without that new iPhone 4S).

When's the last time you heard of a group of men doing that? Responding to the Word of God.  As men. Together. When?  Orphans and homeless people are for women to take care of.  That takes nurturing and love.  You know, motherly instincts us guys don't have.  No friends, that is the Word and Breathe of the Lord Jesus Christ being put into action.  (I actually had a guy tell me this week he'd never met a guy enrolled in the MDiv/MSW program at Baylor.  Guys aren't often social workers caring for "the least of these.")

We call that Breathe the Gospel.  The good news.  The saving power of the Savior told in Genesis through Revelation.  God told us all to do what's in his Word.  And frankly, women are baring the weight of it all.  Who prays in your church?  The women.  Who leads missions efforts in church?  Women.  Who teaches children?  Probably mostly women.  Now there is nothing wrong with women doing all that, they should be doing all that.  They are responding to God's call they received while living and worshipping in community.  Men, go respond with them.  As a children's pastor I would have killed for more men to be like Mr. Jack.  A man who taught Sunday school, led Awana games, planned father-son camp outs.  Because Jack Wolf loved the Lord and responded to his call as a man, yes.  But, he responded to God's call as a Christian more.  Go be like Jack as he tries to be like Jesus.   

Oh, Hey Seminary

Well, here I am three weeks into a four year graduate program (Lord, y'all, Lord).  I can honestly say I love school.  In every aspect.  I can also honestly say, its been rough.  Not the school part, I had rockstar professors in undergrad that totally prepared me for this place.  I mean, its a lot of work...but work I am totally capable of doing.  You know if you read my blog how excited I was about two things all last semester camp and seminary.  Elated might be a more accurate picture.  But, three weeks ago when I moved here I wanted to be anywhere else but here.

But let me tell you how I miss the familiar.  I miss WBC.  I miss the chimes of Addie Mae.  I miss chats in Grace's office, talks on Jon's futon, play practice, First Baptist Church, hugs from precious kids, cooking with Hannah and Saturdays with the Anderson's (ok, every night of my life with them).  I miss all that.  I miss being comfortable.

I miss camp.  I miss ten hugs from Caleb everyday.  I miss doing grids with Ellie and bank runs.  I miss Daniel preaching the Word, pro with Evan and Hannah, talking to Alli about relationships (you know that boy she likes), I miss hard work.  I miss 6:30 rec row and late nights counting money.  I miss store inventory.  I miss leading children to Christ.  I miss seeing my friends do the same.  I miss late nights and early mornings.  I miss familiar.  I miss hard work yes, but I miss comfortable.

And here I am without all those people, with really no people.  I am meeting people slowly.  But its not like I live in a dorm.  I am not the RA anymore.  I miss community.  Community is good right, its a 21st century Christian buzz word.  And then it hit me....Can you worship community?

Well, duh.  Community I have discovered has been my collegiate idol.  I knew that but it really sank in this week.  Time alone has been good for me.  It has meant reflection and dealing with sin, it has meant learning to be satisfied in God not other relationships.  It has meant learning the difference between emotion and reason (we'll talk more about this in another post).  God has taught me I need him.  Community is something he gives as a gift.  And are we called to live in it?  Yes.  But do we worship it? No.

So, saying all that Waco is warming up to me.  I have made threats to flee to Nashville or Kentucky or back home where people I love are, but I won't.  I will be right here where God has called me.  I will build community.  He will build community, that's more like it.  But, I won't worship it.

I am going to go do my new favorite past time, searching jobs on the internet.