So, I talked about in my last post how I had a first time experience this past year. A girlfriend. The whole story is honestly too long and complicated and most of you could care less about the details, so I will spare you the hurt. But, I did learn a lot through it and to really kind of move on I guess you could say, I am going to make a list.
1. Obsession is bad. If you know me at all, you know I get obsessed with things. I mean, if you are one of my close friends I probably fear for your life, your sin, and even your grades in school than I do my own. Well, not as drastic as I just made that sound, but you now what I mean. I was obsessed for a long time with this girl. It wasn't a good thing. I was looking for a girl friend, I thought she was a nice girl, so I pursued. And pursued. And pursued.
2. Obsession does not bring love. After months, well almost a year of obsession, we dated. I learned that my obsession for her in the previous year did not make me fall in love with her. I could create obsession, but I could not create love. It is impossible. I loved her and still do, but not like a boyfriend should love a girlfriend.
3. Love has to be shared in equal parts. I told myself at first the reason she seemed to care about me more than I cared about her was she was a girl and they are just wired that way. At the end of the day though, she was falling in love with me and I was not with her (which was not her fault and I want to stress that). I thought when we started dating it would end in getting married. I was an idiot. So it surprised me when even in our short relationship the "m" word came up. I mean, to be honest I could have married her and I could have lived with her and I could have made her happy. However, I would be living a life everyday where I know our love is not shared equally and to me that isn't fair to me or her.
4. Breaking up is hard. I knew I needed to break up with her for a long time. That doesn't mean it wasn't hard then and after. It wasn't just hard for you, let's just put it that way. However, the peace that came after doing the right thing didn't mean I didn't feel like a jerk, like I had ruined her life. I did do the right thing and analyze what happened before that and how much it hurt all you want, I did what was right, but that didn't make it easy.
5. Wait for God. Some people may have found the perfect spouse by looking and seeking after them. It didn't work for me. I have began to realize I suffer from loneliness. Like really bad and there will be an upcoming post on that for sure. But, wanting to be with someone more than wanting to be with God and seeking to find someone more than I am seeking out God is not ok. So, next time, if there is a next time I am simply waiting on my Father to give me direction.
6. Relationships don't make sin go away. Sin is still going to be there. Lust is still going to be there. Thoughts you don't want to think are still going to be there. It is not going away because you have some teenage-like commitment with a girl. So, deal with it. Guys, be honest, don't be afraid to talk about what is going on. Girls, its not okay. I mean, be sympathetic and encourage but rebuke too. Just because mail brains are wired to think about sex all the time doesn't mean we need to hear, it will be ok nine time as day.
7. Be honest. I know I said that in my last number, but really. If you are going to be adult enough to try to be in a relationship tell each other the real stuff. Don't hold back.
In conclusion, I don't know if any of this is right. This is just what I have concluded from my limited experience. I am not trying to call anyone out. We all make mistakes. These are all mine. So, in the risk of being completely wrong about all of this, I am pressing "publish post."
No comments:
Post a Comment