Talking to Grace on the phone tonight, she was excited about getting to spend a weekend alone. I had thought that too earlier in the day and then as the night went on the old battle with loneliness crept back up. I will be honest I have always been a little nuts. Even as a kid when I played by myself (which I tended to do a lot because there are six years separating me and each of my siblings) there had to be someone there to talk to. They were more times than not imaginary but that goes to show the fact I have never liked being alone.
Lonely also follows laziness. Instead of getting up and doing something to occupy my time I lay around. I had intended to use this summer to read a lot and catch up on some much needed solitude and meditation with the Lord. Overall, I have failed. Laziness brings sin more often than not because your guard goes down. I don't care what I am about to do and honestly I don't care because I want to. I hate feeling lonely and being lazy at the same time.
But I am tired of it. I am tired of letting myself feel like I need constant communication with someone or something. God uses the silent and the alone time. He just wants me to get up and go do something with it. In the words of Patty Loveless, "we've just been lonely too long." I am tired of it. Jesus is always there and he is willing to do something big if I get up off my rear and just do something.
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