Really? Aloud? Come on, now!
You see sometimes the things that annoy me the most are the things I do so often. It is like the old adage from I don't know...Jesus, that says take the plank out of your eye before judging your friend (or FaceBook friend, though I'm not sure the two are synonymous always). You see, I have a real problem with the word humility. I didn't think I did. You see, I am not the type of person that thinks highly of myself. Really, I'm not. I don't like the way I look. I have ears the size of Dumbo's, I weigh like 10,000 more pounds than I did in high school. I am not good a techy stuff, I am not athletic, I don't like to run, I'm not in a relationship (which negates marriage as well)....the list could go on. This summer God tried to teach me two lessons (well more than that but we will focus on two of them here). First, he taught me as Ellie would say, "Will, you're good at stuff." There are things I am good at, maybe not the proverbial small town Arkansas kind of things but I am good at stuff. I am good with kids, I can write, I can generally preach decently, I love camp, I am organized...those are things God made me good at to use for his glory. But here comes the second lesson God taught me..."Will, be humble."
There were a couple of times when he screamed it in my face. The first I can think of is when I got some type of stomach bug traveling from our first location to the second. I was driving a Ryder and we were in the middle of nowhere Arkansas and had been traveling for about 20 minutes when it hit me. I needed to go to the bathroom stat. Not a good thing to do when you are 20 minutes into a 14 plus hour road trip. That wasn't the last time we had to stop. The rest of the afternoon I slept and woke up and then we had to stop. God said, "Hey Will, I'm in charge...you aren't."
You would think that would teach me the lesson. It didn't so much. You see, I realized for most of my life I had replaced my insecurities with arrogance. I had overcompensated, putting on a front that I had everything together. Why? I don't really know why.
I read this verse recently and it is kicking my rear end (Jesus + Jen Hatmaker = Convicted Will):
"Yet they seek me daily and delight to know my ways, as if they were a nation that did righteousness and did not forsake the judgement of their God." Isaiah 58:2
Y'all I have been Israel. So much of last semester I spent time, "seeking God daily." I was seeking God to better myself. To become a better person, a better pastor, a better Assistant Director at camp this summer. I was seeking God to improve me. It kind of has a Joel Osteen ring to it now that I write it down (Lord forgive). But y'all that isn't the goal. Sure, we want to become more like Jesus, thus a better person in the end but that isn't the goal. Self improvement is not at the core of the gospel. The gospel isn't about us. Its about Jesus. It is about denying us. Denying myself. Like Kyle Idleman puts it in Not A Fan, the gospel is about death. Jesus bids us to come and die. It isn't a gospel of self improvement. And when that is what it becomes we are hypocrites.
A hypocrite's fast is useless.
A hypocrite's sacrifice is detestable to the Lord.
A hypocrite's offering is not fragrant.
It is to those people (many of us and certainly me) that God says:
"Behold in the day of the fast you seek your own pleasure and oppress all your workers." Isaiah 58:3b
.....and
"Fasting like yours this day will not make your voice heard on high." Isaiah 58:4b
I'm a hypocrite. Isaiah 58 is just as telling today as when the Israelites first heard it. Repentance is needed. You see, a lack of humility almost certainly leads to hypocrisy. Which often if not always leads to idolatry. Putting ourselves, status, friends, family or whatever else before God.
Will, be humble. Don't be a hypocrite.
No comments:
Post a Comment