Fariness?

I have been in one of those life is not fair moods the fast few days. You know what I am talking about we all get in them. Sometimes I think no one else understands, or much less cares what I am going through (I know this isn't true FYI). Despite that I continue to hold the irrational belief that it is me against the world, me against my struggles, me against my sorrows. I am reminded of a story one of my team mates told this summer during staff meeting. We had sang "Prepare the Way" that night for the invitation. The chorus of that songs simply repeats "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus..." over and over again. The girl came down front to talk to Allyson (I think this is Allyson's story) and told her she had always wondered what this whole heaven and God thing was all about and that night while singing that song it came to her. Jesus. It is all about Jesus. Not to sound all Casting Crowns on you, but "Its all because of Jesus I am alive." I get so caught up in me and my wants and desires and things I think will make me feel better. This is ludicrous, I know. I want to see Christ for who he is, or do I? I want to want to see Christ for who he is. Then perhaps I will realize nothing else or not my so called present suffering will matter. I wise friend told me yesterday God gives us struggles so we can develop more faith. He is a smart kid (I would like to take a moment to say I don't deserve my friends, but I thank God I have them). It reminded me of James 1:2 where it says, "Consider it pure joy my brethren whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." Perseverance is something I am learning. Sticking it out. God has a better plan for me. I know that. I can clearly see that. I just need to live like it.