Finding Fault

I am a very proud person that doesn't like to be wrong.  Lately I have been realizing more and more what my faults are and thinking about how I need to fix them. So here's to a little time of confession to the blogging world:

1. I am too anxious.  I worry way too much.  The littlest things can literally drive me crazy. I not only worry about myself but others and let their worries be transferred to mine too easily.  I guess you could say I am too empathic, which can certainly be a bad thing.

2. I try to find joy and fulfillment in anything but God.  I am constantly looking for or have something that I use to make me happy rather than finding that happiness in God.  It can be friendships, dating, working, so many things.  I really struggle with realizing God is all I need.  I know that is the truth but so often I don't take hold of that truth.

3. I am too sensitive. I let things that people say bother me entirely too much.  I guess I shouldn't and sometimes people do say hurtful things, but in the grand scheme of things a lot of people (especially my friends) aren't trying to be hurtful.  I guess in all honesty this might be a problem with forgiveness and holding on to grudges.

4. I say hurtful things. To the opposite effect of the fault above I don't take responsibility for the words I say.  I don't take time to think about what I am about to say and how it will effect the person I say it to. I can be a jerk and not even realize it until thirty minutes later. But that doesn't make me any less of a jerk.

5. Pride. I am very prideful. I don't like to be wrong. I am learning lately though that I am more and more and it has been a humbling experience.

6. I am not a good friend. Don't get me wrong. I think I have aspects and qualities that make me a good friend.  I listen well, I care a lot about my friends, and I am genuinely concerned about them, but I so often get caught up in how they can help me that I loose sight of what I bring to the friendship.

Don't worry (to maybe the two people if I am lucky who will read this) I am not depressed or in a state of self pity I just needed to get some things off my chest in a logical and methodical way. It has helped I already feel better.